What a crazy week. And by crazy, I mean not a whole lot happened, but what did happen was intense. I have watched several devotionals/talks/recordings of leaders with a certain theme; that of truly becoming a real missionary. They say some people go on a mission and manage to come back unchanged. Some people go and have a good time and strengthen their faith and teach lots of people, but they didn't actually become a missionary. Becoming a missionary is something that should and will influence the rest of your life. It only happens when I am doing my best to completely and unrelentingly immerse myself in the work with the purest intentions I can give. After seeing and hearing about all these things that I need to be doing better in order to truly become, I got pretty down on myself. I have never seen my pride or selfishness more clearly than in the past few days.
And that's exactly when Satan started wiggling back into my life. Preach My Gospel, a resource book that is definitely a missionary's best friend, says that there is a substantial and critical difference between getting disappointed in oneself and discouraged. Disappointment leads to renewed determination and re-dedication; discouragement drives the person to give up altogether. I felt myself starting to get discouraged this week, and that's when I knew I needed to change my perspective.
The fact of the matter is, I was called on this mission for a reason. The Lord knows I can do it. Now I just need to know I can do it. And I do. Now. It's hard, but it will be soooo worth it. We have to rely on the Lord. He is the only one who knows us more than we do ourselves.
So anyway! I'm doing fine! Don't worry about me. I'm happy as a clam. Ether 12:4 in the Book of Mormon (my favorite scripture) says "Whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world". We just gotta have faith and hope. I'm not here for myself, anyway. It's about the people.
Okay! This is it for me! Dang, these weeks go by quickly.
Time for the fraza dana-
Šteta -- (shtehtah) "gosh", "darn", "shoot", or any other severely mild outburst.
Blagoslov -- (blah-goe-slove) "blessing"
Okay, love you all!